Worship

Will the real church of Jesus Christ please stand up and move out of your comfortable pews/seats; throw safety and self-preservation to the wind, and boldly pursue the heart of G-d, forsaking all other lovers?!

IF Jesus were to return today or even in the next few days, would he find a pure and spotless Bride who is LOVESICK for her Bridegroom? Or would He find only a people who claim His name but do not look much different from the world around them? Would Jesus find a Bride who has made herself ready? Who's heart belongs to Him alone and whose gaze is fixed on Him? Or would He find a people who are more concerned with being entertained, chasing after thing of temporary value, and satisfying the immediate 'needs' of their flesh?

Why do you go to church? No, really?? Is it out of obligation? duty? Do you want to keep up appearances? Show off your new dress? Socialize? I know I've been guilty of all of this.

How about to meet with the G-d of all creation who loves and desires you? To worship Him in the splendor of His holiness? To share His love and conviction with those who need to hear?

And what about WORSHIP? Do you even enjoy it? Does it bore you? "Not that song again!... fine, I'll sing, but my heart isn't in this right now..."?? Do you count down until it's over so you can sit down? Are we just going through the motions? "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord." Is that all it is, a joyful NOISE? Be honest.

What if we really pushed past all the distractions and came with a surrendered heart? What if we didn't care what everyone else thought of us and only what G-d thought? What if we moved out of our seats and everything that makes us feel 'comfortable' and worshipped Jesus with abandon? What if we didn't stand rigid with pride when we felt a nudge to get on our knees? What if we were so moved by the knowledge and presence of a holy G-d, that we got on our faces before Him and truly WORSHIPPED Him, not caring about the time? What would that look like? Dare to dream and dare to make it a reality.

Is your heart moved by the G-d Man Jesus Christ who gave His life that you may live? Is your heart moved by the G-d who created everything in heaven and earth and yet chose YOU and loves and desires YOU?? Is there a deep yearning within you to know and desire Him? Does your soul thirst for Him? Does your body long for Him? Is your heart tender or calloused?

This is what it's all about, friends! To know G-d and be known by Him. To worship Him in spirit and in truth. To obey His commands and follow where He leads.

Every ounce of my being longs for Jesus. "My heart beats violently inside of my chest." It's not just a song. It's not just a nice idea. It can be a reality. Everytime I read Psalms, especially, my heart is set ablaze with praise and desire for G-d. He is my Abba (Father). He alone can satisfy the desires of my heart. Magnify the LORD with me! Let us exalt His name together! For He is great and greatly to be praised!!

"Shout with joy to G-d, all the earth! Sing the glory of His name; make His praise glorious! Say to G-d, 'How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name.'...
Come and listen, all you who fear G-d; let me tell you what He has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth; His praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but G-d has surely listened; and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to G-d, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me!" -Psa;m 68:1-4, 16-20


From an old blog post On February 22, 2010; written while I was still running from G-d. He still manged to find me and break through my defenses....

"Jesus is coming back for His Bride (the church- His people called by His name). But that Bride is not prepared. She doesn't have enough oil for her lamp and her dress is soiled. She has been lulled to sleep in apathy. Daughter of Zion, throw off your bed clothes and wipe the sleep from your eyes. Prepare yourself for the wedding to come. Your Bridegroom is coming and you need to be ready.

Jesus, awaken our hearts to the knowledge of you. "Fill us with the knowledge of G-d, with the knowledge of You, with the knowledge of the Holy, Holy." Give us eyes to see you, ears to hear and a heart to understand all that you are speaking to us.

Sound the alarm on your holy hill. Blow a trumpet in Zion that the King of glory may come in. The hour is upon us and it is time to stop running from G-d and into His arms. He is the only safe place. Even so, come Lord Jesus."

ONE THING

I long to be consumed by the majesty and beauty of G-d. I want to "waste my life" pursuing One Thing. "One thing have I desired, that will I seek..." (Psalm 27)

G-d has been awakening my heart once more and setting my heart ablaze with desire for Him. I am finding that everything else is a chasing after the wind. It's all fading away. The only thing that matters, the only thing that remains, in light of eternity is this G-d man Jesus Christ. I long to be fascinated by Him and Him alone.

When I try and pursue 'other lovers' such as tv, long stretches on Facebook, movies that don't glorify G-d, etc.... I am left despondant, aimless, depressed and completely unsatisfied. The only thing that truly satsifies me these days is giving my time to worship and seeking the face of a holy G-d. He alone is worthy of all our praise and devotion.

There is an urgency in my heart that, we as the Body of Christ, need to purify ourselves and return to Jesus with ALL our hearts. No compromise. No temporary pleasures that turn our gaze from the Lover of our soul. He is coming back for a pure and spotless Bride.

I can no longer ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit; the still small Voice saying "this is the way, walk in it." If it means I have to walk out of a movie, then so be it.

I wasted so much time chasing after my own ways and desires, continually ignoring and saying "no" to that still small voice of G-d, because I was comfortable in my complaceny. My heart became calloused and hard and I got to the point that I could no longer hear G-d speaking. I became apathetic and lukewarm. I nearly lost all sensitivity to the Holy Spirit....
I can NOT go back there, and I will fight for the purity of my heart. I have tasted and seen that the LORD is GOOD! I don't want to be satisfied by anything ordinary.

G-d is great and we do not know Him. I challenge you that it doesn't have to be this way! G-d said that "If you seek Me, you will find Me when you seek Me with your whole heart." Let Jesus be the One Thing you seek today.



"Let the dancers dance. Let the singers sing to You. Let the worshipers advance in Your presence oh G-d.
To play in the water that springs up with life. To dance in the fire the world will ignite. Your banner is love that you wave over us.
And no amount of money can buy the love you give. Cuz you are the measure of our inheritance. The debt has been paid by the blood of the covenant.
Let the blood be broken. Let the wine be poured out." - Andrew Erhenzeller, 'Covenant'

babbling

There's a rose in Bethlehem colored red like mercy's blood...

This song is finally starting to sink into my soul and our dance is this Sunday...

White twirling skirts and Red. Silk. Bamboo. Fans.

I love dance.

Babies make a great audience, so long as they are properly fed and not tired.
They also make crunches more fun. Laughter and exercise all at once.

Babies. Twins. Girls. They are rolling all over the place now and one is trying to get up on all fours- ready to rock and roll. I am NOT ready for this.
These kids are my life- at least 8 hours a day. LOVE.

Cookies. Need. To. Stop.

Family is missed.

Cats are annoying and fun to torture-- in a non-violent way, of course. I do miss my Jazmine, though.

Must watch Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of Dawn Treader again!

SO much to do before Christmas.... Oy vey!
I think we should just give gifts to people in need and overseas instead of worrying about getting everyone on our list the perfect gift.

AND/OR we should give gifts periodically all winter so there is always something to look forward to in the cold and dreary season of winter.
So much anticipation is built into a single day or even week, and not to mention the stress. Why does it have to be this way?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-Christmas. I just feel that we should spread out the joy and "Spirit of Christmas" and not get so caught up in the to-do's that we lose sight of the true meaning of Christ's birth....


PS. I like mail!! ;)

Laila Tov.

A story

There once was a girl who fancied herself a princess and dreamed about her prince charming coming to rescue her. --Disney was a great influence ;) --

She loved twirling in skirts and riding bikes, playing with dolls, climbing fences and haybales. She was a dreamer and often had her head in the clouds- mesmerized by the shifting shapes.

Though most misunderstood her, she did her best to make the most of every day and simply be herself.

As she got older, she sailed the stormy seas; drenched by the waves and clinging tightly to a G-d she barely knew. By His mighty hand, she finally reached calmer waters and praised Him for keeping her safe and giving her hope when all had seemed lost.

While most complained about their home in the plains, she found beauty in the grassy prairies and gently rolling hills. The G-d of details and beauty never ceased to amaze her as she examined the smallest blade of grass or the way a field of golden sunflowers would literally turn to face the sun.
Spring and early summer were her favorite times of year, and she watched in anticipation as the first flowers would spring forth from the semi-frozen ground and burst into bloom.
She loved observing the winter wheat turning from emerald green to tall amber waves of grain, dancing in the wind.
Something she very much enjoyed was sitting on the warm cement on a gusty summer day and watching the sky as a storm would roll in. It was magnificent and breath-taking.

This land of farms, tornados, short/tall grass prairies, sunflowers, and tractors was her home, and
there was so much beauty to behold if one would only slow down and have the eyes to see it.

The years went by and she found herself in a foreign, beautiful, and far too fast paced place called Maryland.

She learned a lot about herself and met some wonderful people in the years following her big move.

She learned she liked science, though it had always been so boring coming from a textbook.
She remembered that insects fascinated her --so long as they were not too close or unfortunate enough to wander into her home.

She re-discovered a joy in baking/cooking and reminisced of time spent with her grandmother in the kitchen.

She discovered a love for dance and ballet slippers.

She learned to sew and crochet.

She met great friends, and fell in like with sushi!

She was captivated by the ocean and the G-d who created the ocean.


..................
AND her creative juices suddenly retired for the evening.... THE END

The Princess and the Stinkbug

Once upon a time in the land of rain, a girl happened across a curious little bug. It was gray and slender and somewhat odd looking. It didn't look like quite like the armor-shaped warrior bugs she had come to know as stink bugs who infested buildings like a plague. Yet, something (or someone) deep inside of her told her to beware and proceed with caution.

Well, the girl thought it would be best to kill the creature and not let it stay and breed like wildfire and consume her home. So she did just that and just as she was getting ready to dispose of the unfortunte bug (against her better judgement) she thought she'd take a sniff to determine if she truly had stumbled upon a dreaded stinkbug.

Bad idea. She started choking and could not breathe for some time and felt sick for the rest of the night. The moral of the story... Trust your insticts and listen to that Still Small Voice....
the end.

Awaken our Hearts

It's raining here and as I was driving home this evening I saw what looked like lightning. So, as the rain continues to hit my window, I imagine a magnificent thunderstorm....

The thunder shakes the earth as the lightning illuminates the night sky. The flood gates of heaven are opened and rain is poured fresh upon the earth. In all of this I am left in awe of the G-d who created the storm; who created me. I can hear His mighty voice in the thunder, see his glory in the lightning and feel his spirit in the rain. I have a strong desire to stand in the midst of it and let it all consume me. ... If only it weren't so cold....

I have been running away from G-d for so long. I know He has a plan for my life and I hear Him speak to my heart, beckoning me to come closer and enter in to relationship. He speaks to me in dreams and tugs on my heart-strings. I desire to know Him and serve Him but something holds me back.

I have always feared I would be one whose love had grown cold. I feared I would be turned away and have to hear Him say "I never knew you". G-d never let it be so.

I hear Him say: "Run baby run. My hands release you baby. Run raby run as fast as you can. Run till your heart leads you to the real truth. You're my daughter, my son. Run baby run."

How can we run from G-d when He is all around us? It is humorous but we do it every day. Yet, He is always there, waiting for me and calling me back to Him and His love.

How I long to be drenched in the rain of His presence; to stand there in surrender as the water washes over me and there are no distracitons.

I miss the country. I miss wide open spaces where you can see land for miles and miles. I miss sitting in a field and hearing the wind rustle though the long stem grasses or wheat. I miss the wildflowers that added a splash of color and beauty in a sea of brown grasses. I miss the sound of the birds singing. I miss the smell of the alfalfa ripe for harvest with all those beautiful purple blooms. I miss the silence and the stars.In all of this I see the hand of G-d. I hear His gentle voice and I am left speechless.

"Jesus I long to be holy. Jesus I long to be real."
"Take me past the outer courts, into the holy place. Past the sacred alter, LORD I want to see your face. Take me past the crowds of people and the priests who sing your praise. I hunger and thirst for your righteousness. It's only found in one place. Take me into the holy of holies. Take me in by the blood of the lamb. Take me into the holy of holies. Take the scroll. Cleanse my lips. Here I am."

Sunday I met with some of my co-workers for a going-away brunch. One of the ladies was leaving and asked me to come with them. I didn't know when I'd see her again so I agreed. I was torn between that or church. She was blessed to have me come and I was blessed to get to spend a little time with these dear people I only see in the chaotic frame of work.

Well, I made it to church for the last 15 minutes and couldn't have been more glad I'd decided to step through those doors- late as I was. G-d's presence was clearly there and I felt my heart softening to Him. I don't know what Pastor was talking about but I know that Jesus was there. As I sat on the floor in the back of the room, away from people and distraction, I was overcome by the awareness of my need for Him. I knew that I needed to stop running away from Jesus and back into His arms, for real. Nothing half-hearted. A line of a song ran through my memory and it was all I could think of. "Oh I wanna yearn for You. I wanna burn with passion...."

Jesus is coming back for His Bride (the church- His people called by His name). But that Bride is not prepared. She doesn't have enough oil for her lamp and her dress is soiled. She has been lulled to sleep in apathy.
Daughter of Zion, throw off your bed clothes and wipe the sleep from your eyes. Prepare yourself for the wedding to come. Your Bridegroom is coming and you need to be ready.

Jesus, awaken our hearts to the knowledge of you. "Fill us with the knowledge of G-d, with the knowledge of You, with the knowledge of the Holy, Holy." Give us eyes to see you, ears to hear and a heart to understand all that you are speaking to us.

Sound the alarm on your holy hill. Blow a trumpet in Zion that the King of glory may come in. The hour is upon us and it is time to stop running from G-d and into His arms. He is the only safe place. Even so, come Lord Jesus.

A Day of Adventure

Today was simply splendid.  Church in the morning and exploration in the afternoon. *contented sigh*

So, in church today, I had a random contemplation about ears and the early church.
I was looking at someone in front of me and it struck me how strange and alien ears really look and how creative G-d is. My mind went off on a tangent about ears. lol

Also, I was looking around and started wondering what the Early Church- soon after Jesus rose from the dead and the disciples preached the gospel- really looked like and why we only have churched people in our services. What are we doing? Why do we go and are we making a difference in the Kingdom of heaven? Are we reaching out to the poor and destitute? the widow and orphan? prostitutes?? Beyond just acts of charity? What did the Early Church look like, sound like, smell like? Did they sit in service and listen to some guy preach or read from the Bible and let the Spirit of G-d speak through the Word of G-d? Was there a lot of heart-felt worship? Did the meetings look the same every week - same format? or did it change depending on the movemnet of the Holy Spirit? 

Don't get me wrong. I like my church and pastor, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if there's something more....

After church we went to Patapsco State park- the one with the swing bridge. We thought the bridge looked lame when we realized it was the one in front of our face, but as soon as we started walking on it we could feel the swaying movement. It was SO cool. I thought the gaps in between the boards were going to eat my flip-flops but otherwise I loved being up high over a pretty river and felling the bridge move. :)

After the bridge, and after swinging our legs back and forth on a fun bench, we started on the Cascade Falls Trail. :) I love exploring trails in foresty areas, especially when water is involved. 
I REALLY enjoyed climbing all over and around the rocks and falls. The adventurer in me was awkened and I sought to climb every fun rock I could find. We even had fun balancing on fallen trees.  What joyful bliss!

I got to take pictures and even came upon and eventually talking to this guy with a professional camera. He gave me a tip for close-up nature photos. It was cool but I probably should have asked his name. would have been the polite thing to do. I'm not very good at that kind of stuff sometimes. lol

I LOVE EXPLORING and nature. I can sense G-d's presence all around me when I am out in the wilderness. The colors come alive as my eyes take in the beauty all around me and the gentle breeze whispers secrets and kisses my face. The roar of the waterfalls speak of the majesty of my Creator. I cannot get enough as my senses are consumed. I am filled with life and wonder at the Beauty abd majesty of G-d. :)

Definately going to find time to go back and explore more. Any one up for grand adventure??