Driven by a Need to Write

   Recently, I saw a picture, on a friend's blog, that said "I am most alive when I write."  I also read a quote by George Balanchine, which said, "I don't want peple who want to dance, I want people who have to dance."  For our purposes, let's replace the word 'write' for 'dance'.  I WANT to dance, I HAVE to write!

   I need to write.  Writing is like a fire shut up in my bones!  Once a creative spark has been ignited, I have no choice but to surrender to the flame.  For, if I delay in writing, I am given no rest until I begin.  Ideas bounce around in my head until they find their perfect place in the puzzle of a story.  I am frequently consumed and driven by a desire to write.  It is as though G-d plants a seed of thought deep within me, waters it and causes it to grow into completion.  I am just the messenger.

   Writing is my most beloved creative outlet.  It makes me come alive; using expressive language to give voice to my imagination, innermost musings, and prayers.  Often times, I have trouble finding words to verbally articulate all that I am thinking, but when I write, the ideas ebb and flow.  Writing is how I process the world around me, and how I debrief.  It helps me organize my thoughts and make sense of the static.  It also connects me to G-d in a way nothing else can, and I am left in awe of Him.

   Inspiration comes in all shapes, sizes, and depths.  Whether it be from a casual or meaningful interaction with friends or strangers, a powerful sermon, prophetic dreams, soul-piercing prayers, poetic lyrics, a moving composition, a funny or thought-provoking movie, a time of soaking worship, a well-written book, a magnificent sunset, the intricate details in nature, an action-packed storm, an unexpected adventure, a painting or a photograph, a word aptly spoken, a remarkable act of compassion, or countless other encounters; beauty always demands a response.  Likewise, pain, tragedy, trauma, tears, heartache, courage, victory, and stories of people who overcame in the face of adversity, bring inspiration all their own.  I never know when or from where the inspiration will come, but when it hits, I must be prepared to write!

   I see beauty all around me, and am constantly left in awe of our Creator.  I feel deeply, and am profoundly impacted by the emotions and stories of others.  I hear the silent cries of the oppressed, and feel their pain.  I am introspective, and like to ponder meaning and significance.  I write out of places of inspiration, pain, love, beauty, understanding, and connection; all fueled by these realities. 

   Writing has always provided a safe and comforting space.  Growing up, I often felt invisible and misunderstood.  I learned that it wasn't usually safe to share my heart and thoughts with others, because my words would either become painful daggers used against me or fall on deaf and uncaring ears.  Back then, writing was my only outlet, and my journal was my only true friend.  Writing gave me a voice when I felt like no one was really listening.

   So, you see, writing has always been my tool of choice. Though the methods have changed, it is still my favorite method of communication.  I love using words to paint vivid pictures.  I am drawn to both the structure and creativity that writing offers.  It is both a hobby and a passion of mine.

   So, while there are many things I enjoy doing (like singing), and many things I want to do (like dance), I HAVE to write.  I am often driven by the inspiring hand of G-d, and I feel most alive when I write!