A Day of Adventure

Today was simply splendid.  Church in the morning and exploration in the afternoon. *contented sigh*

So, in church today, I had a random contemplation about ears and the early church.
I was looking at someone in front of me and it struck me how strange and alien ears really look and how creative G-d is. My mind went off on a tangent about ears. lol

Also, I was looking around and started wondering what the Early Church- soon after Jesus rose from the dead and the disciples preached the gospel- really looked like and why we only have churched people in our services. What are we doing? Why do we go and are we making a difference in the Kingdom of heaven? Are we reaching out to the poor and destitute? the widow and orphan? prostitutes?? Beyond just acts of charity? What did the Early Church look like, sound like, smell like? Did they sit in service and listen to some guy preach or read from the Bible and let the Spirit of G-d speak through the Word of G-d? Was there a lot of heart-felt worship? Did the meetings look the same every week - same format? or did it change depending on the movemnet of the Holy Spirit? 

Don't get me wrong. I like my church and pastor, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if there's something more....

After church we went to Patapsco State park- the one with the swing bridge. We thought the bridge looked lame when we realized it was the one in front of our face, but as soon as we started walking on it we could feel the swaying movement. It was SO cool. I thought the gaps in between the boards were going to eat my flip-flops but otherwise I loved being up high over a pretty river and felling the bridge move. :)

After the bridge, and after swinging our legs back and forth on a fun bench, we started on the Cascade Falls Trail. :) I love exploring trails in foresty areas, especially when water is involved. 
I REALLY enjoyed climbing all over and around the rocks and falls. The adventurer in me was awkened and I sought to climb every fun rock I could find. We even had fun balancing on fallen trees.  What joyful bliss!

I got to take pictures and even came upon and eventually talking to this guy with a professional camera. He gave me a tip for close-up nature photos. It was cool but I probably should have asked his name. would have been the polite thing to do. I'm not very good at that kind of stuff sometimes. lol

I LOVE EXPLORING and nature. I can sense G-d's presence all around me when I am out in the wilderness. The colors come alive as my eyes take in the beauty all around me and the gentle breeze whispers secrets and kisses my face. The roar of the waterfalls speak of the majesty of my Creator. I cannot get enough as my senses are consumed. I am filled with life and wonder at the Beauty abd majesty of G-d. :)

Definately going to find time to go back and explore more. Any one up for grand adventure??

Happy Easter. Jesus Christ is risen!

Had lunch with the neighbors. It was great. They are so sweet and we had fun. Met some cool kats and some precious babes. Good conversation. LOTS of food. :P

I only have one complaint.

I do NOT like sweets!! (Most of them) They fed us cheesecake and fudge cake and such. It was good for a couple bites, but man. Every time I eat that junk I regret it! :(

Why do people think they need to "fatten you up" if you are skinny? I never understood that. :P

C'est la vie!

Deception

A care-free, bright-eyed child...
Full of energy and creativity...
The future was full of big dreams...
Innocence and imagination...
Such a joy to be around...

Seemingly over night...
A frightened young girl, still very much a child...
Trying so hard to fit in and growing up too quickly...
A stolen child-hood...
Insecure and unsure...
Trying to find a way though this confusing time of adolesence...
No hand to hold, no one to guide her...
Eyes are the window to the soul - dark and hurting...
So beautiful and thin, but she does not believe it...
Pain and dissapointment have numbed her...
Too afraid of being hurt again, walls go up...
'you will not see the real me'...

Bombarded with lies, what will she believe?
The media, the culture around her all tell her how to live...
To be popular, to be pretty, to get the boys to like you...
Go shopping, buy more things, it'll make you happy...
Never enough...

LIES, whispers...
"Listen to me and I'll be your best friend.
I'll make you believe this is all you ever wanted.
I'll teach you how to walk, talk, dress, act...
I'll make you into my image, but you won't realize until it's too late.
I'll show you how to be beautiful.
I'll make you popular and show you how to get what you want...
It'll come at a price, but who cares about that?
I'll teach you how to get that guy...
If you'll only wear this dress, show some skin, say this...
Let him know how much you want him, let him touch you...
It doesn't matter, what's the harm in it?
Every one else is doing it, aren't they? 
Come on, no one will ever know...
Listen to me...
Ignore your parents, they don't know anything, anyway...
Be rebellious, you're a teenager, that's what your supposed to do...

"Stick with me and life will be great...
I'll steal your soul and you won't even know it...
Sure your heart will be broken, but do I care?
I'll take you for a ride around the block, 
and when I'm done with you I'll spit you out and run over you.
You mean nothing more to me than a toy to be played with and then tossed out.
For I have come to steal, kill, and destroy.
I want nothing more than to destroy your life, but you don't need to know that."





********************************

I used to be so envious...
I wanted so bad to be one of them...
To be liked, to be pretty, to have friends and get all the guys...
I would do anything, but fate wasn't kind to me...
Or so I thought...

I never had a chance...
stood out like a sore thumb...
Last to be picked in gym class...
No sense of fashion...
Sat alone in silence, watching and wishing...
Thought it was a curse...

Now I realize it was a blessing...
The ugly duckling became the swan princess...
Set apart to soar with the eagles...

The more I am removed from society's pulls and demands,
The more I see past the masks and facades...
Looking past the plastic smiles and the 'Cover Girl' faces...
Gazing straight into the heart of humanity....
To see the hurting and broken heart in all of us...


Look into their eyes... 
Look at them with the compassion of Jesus...
Love them like Jesus...

Get out of the "selfishness box" and look around you,
They're everywhere...

The battle is real...
This is why we are fighting...

Of Kansas and Love

So I was thinking...

Whoever said Kansas is a horrible place must not take time to look around and smell the wildflowers. And the one who claims the heartland to be flat as a pancake, certainly hasn't looked at a pancake lately..... I mean come on, since when did pancakes have rolling hills, ravines and creeks, etc, etc?

The prairies are ALIVE with color, diversity, and BEAUTY!
Hues of soft and vibrant colors sweep across the land and wave in the gentl breeze. Bright Yellows and Golds of Sunflowers and Goldenrods glow in the sunlight.
Red, Blue, Brown, Gold, Silver, White - heads of diverse grasses, Tall and Short.
Vibrant purples, blues, pinks of wildflowers. Bright Red sumac....

The hills are alive with the sound of singing... The sound of creation singing to the Creator. It's absolutely BEAUTIFUL and stirs the imagination.

But it's only when we take the time to really stop and look around us, that we can truly enjoy the vibrant tapestry of life surrounding us.

**********************************************

Another thing... 

The other day I was reading. 
My cat decided it was time to be loved. 
NOTHING was going to stop her from having my full attention.
She was in my face, DEMANDING my love, my attention.
She'd lay on my book if she had to.

It was annoying, but then I had a revelation....

That is how we should be with God....

Desiring to be near Him, to be in His presence...
Not letting ANYTHING stop us from being near Him, from being loved by Him...

 

 

Okay that's all.

"My Jesus" - Think about it

My Jesus

Todd Agnew

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a poster child for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus

A Declaration Worth Repeating

To guys everywhere

Consider carefully the words to follow: (speaking on behalf of all women out there who've had enough)

I am a woman, a daughter of the LIVING God who watches over me....
      I am not a piece of meat. I am not property.  I am not something to be conquered.

You can not seduce me or win me over with a flattering tongue. I'm not impressed. Sorry.

Excessive flirting is annoying. Please stop.

I am a secret garden. You do not have permission to enter.

I will not show you what is mine. You have not put a ring on my finger.

Don't ask me to share with you the wells of my heart when you have not earned my trust.

Believe me when I tell you that I do not like you and will not go out with you.
I would not do you the dishonor of leading you on.

Don't speak to me of the pleasures of darkness and then ask me to hang with you. I don't roll like that.

Don't burp in my face or use foul language. It's NOT attractive and I don't think you're funny.

Don't sit around on the couch while I do all the work.
Don't watch as I struggle with heavy objects. You're stronger than me. Help a sister out.
Hold a door open for me once in awhile. It won't kill you and I won't protest.

Be my friend. Talk to me. Earn my trust. Cherish me. Protect me. Guard my heart.
Treat me like a princess.

What happened to the days of old when men and women treated each other with respect?

What happened to chivalry? It's not a sign of weakness but of strength.

What happened to honor, integrity, chastity, purity .... unconditional and sacrificial... LOVE?

commitment?   "Till death do us part"? ... NOT    "As long as our love shall last."  Come on, people.

And FATHERS:

It's not enough to simply love your daughters. SHOW them you love them. TELL them you love them.

Tell them they are cherished and Beautiful. Treat them like your little princess.
They look to up to you and long to spend time with you. This is right. Walk in it.

Model to them what pure, un-adulterated love looks like. Be their role model of true masculinity.



The world has taken our men and turned them into boys, redifining maculinity. Stop listening to the LIES.


I could speak of women, too. But I'll save that for a rainy day.
I'm done venting. But seriously. Think about it and give me some feedback.

Blast from the past- take 2

The Simple Joys of Life - Are you taking them for Granted? (March 10, 2007)

current mood:  Contemplative...

Each day is made up of moments/ incidents - seen and unseen, good or bad - which come together to create the tapestry of our life.  Each moment is an opportunity to catch a glimpse of something bigger - Someone. If you look close enough or listen hard enough, you can see the Master's hand all over your life. But most people don't take the time... Rushed through the chaos of life, we often miss the beauty and blessings right in front of our faces...

These simple moments can speak volumes of the Father's love for us, His creativeness and His voice calling to us...  "I am here. Now... Let me speak to you and share my heart with you...

These moments don't have to be "spiritual".  You don't have to see a burning bush or be in a church ... For God is the Creator of all life... You just have to stop, look, and listen...  

Moments you feel were made just for you.

For me these moments could look like:

* Fellowship with friends - good conversation and laughter.
* Having a baby in my arms and making her giggle as I hold her up in the air and make silly faces.
* Being with someone you love... Family... just being with them.
* The fresh clean smell after the rain.
* The first Spring flowers after the long cold winter.
* LAUGHING... a little or until you cry...
* cuddling with my cat.
* Going for a walk and feeling the warm sun kiss your face and the genlte breeze play with your hair.
* The sound of the wind in the trees.
* Watching the sky as the clouds change shape and the rains begin to fall...  
* Roaring thunder that seems to shake the earth and illuminating bolts of electricity that light up the sky.
* Finding fuel for 11 cents cheaper than everywhere else.
* Going to pay off a fee and hearing them say it's been taken care of.
* A cool, refreshing breeze on a HOT summer day.
* The fact that we have running water, electrictity, food, shelter, and clothes... not everyone does...
* Good music... passionate piano scores, the strumming of a guitar... 
* Cold, juciy watermelon on a hot day.
* The mystery and intrigue of taking the road less traveled... endless possibilities of adventure...
* The way the Sunflowers turn toward the sun.
* Walking through field of wildflowers.
* A rainbow after the rain.
* Waking up to the sound of birds singing.
* A good hug... Hearing someone say "I love you" and knowing they mean it.
* Witnessing someone's face light up when you tell them they are Beautiful or just smile at them.
* Watching the prairie daily come ALIVE in the spring with splashes of COLOR.
* The feel of soft, green grass or wet, squishy sand between your toes.
* The captivating way flames dance and lick up the wood.

* The fragrant smell of my Olive Oil soap after someone takes a shower...

I could go on and on....

Everyone has these moments, and they will probably be different for differnt people, but we all have them.  The question is, Are you taking them for granted?

Getting to Know Me

My confession - September 14, 2007

   I have never felt like I belong in this world. I've never "fit in," and even now I feel it.  It is an ever present reality in my day-to-day life. This sensation of standing out from amongst the crowd, being alone in a room full of people... In these times when I feel my heart begin to despair, there is only One I can turn to for comfort - the only One who really understands me - Jesus Christ.
   Over the past few years, Jesus has changed my life, heart and mind drastically and has shown me that I am not alone. That He has a purpose for me and when I abide in Him I will find rest for my weary soul.  But it hasn't always been this way...

   When I was a child, I was quite out-going and excited about life. I hadn't a care in the world.  Then, when I was just 6 years old, my little world shattered when my parents announced the impending divorce. Things began to change. My parents, my security, were no longer together. I still saw my dad, but nothing would ever be the same again. 
   I turned inward to deal with a pain I couldn't even begin to understand until just a few years ago; I turned to the world of imagination. I clung to my childhood with everything in me and did my best to escape reality. School began to get harder and no one understood me. I didn't fit in, but it wasn't too bad because I still had a friend. 
   Then, Jr. High came and my life became a living Hell. Those whom I counted as friends turned their backs on me in favor of self-interest and peer pressure.  In those times when I most needed a friend, there were none to be found. I dreaded going to school and couldn't wait until 3:20 when the bell rang and I could leave.  Walking through the halls, sitting in class, and eating in the cafeteria was torture for me most of the time - whenever these "friends" decided they didn't want to have anything to do with me... I felt like eveyone was always staring, laughing, poking fun at the awkward girl who didn't fit in....
   I would go home and escape reality by turning on the tv.  I would cry myself to sleep at times because it was too much for me to bear.... I began to shut down to emotion and the walls went up around my heart.  I determined that I would not share my heart with anyone, not even family, because everytime I tried I was denied. No one seemed to care enough to listen to someone else's pain....
   I became depressed and didn't want to live anymore. But I knew suicide would never be an option so I was trapped. I couldn't die but I didn't want to live.... The pain was unbearable. I couldn't understand how people could be so cruel. All I ever wanted was to love and be loved... 
   
   Then, about my Sophomore year in highschool, I went to an Acquire the Fire youth conference (for the 2nd or 3rd time).  There, in that darkened arena, as the speaker was talking and music was playing, G-d spoke to my heart.... 
I had heard it all before growing up in church, but back then it was nothing more than dried up religion. History. It was a story of interest for sure, and I believed it to be true, but it was never before so real to me as in that moment....

G-d so LOVED the world that he GAVE His ONLY begotten son that who-so-ever belives in Him will NOT perish, but have eternal LIFE... (A verse long-ago memorized and stored away suddenly became real.)  God loved ME! Someone really loved me! Loved me enough to give His life as a ransom for mine so that I could live and have a relationship with G-d! 
   For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of G-d. We deserve death. The only acceptable atonement for our sin is blood. That's why the Jews of old sacrificed animals all the time - it was required by G-d. That was the only way G-d could be near them, because He cannot dwell with sin. So Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice - the pure and spotless Lamb. once and for all.  So, we don't have to earn God's approval. We don't have to strive to do good deeds. We don't have to be perfect. All we have to do is believe Jesus and His cross and seek to live as He did.  We can have relationship with the Creator God - coming near by the blood of the Lamb. That is what er were created for...

So, back to the ATF... my life now had hope. There was a reason for living. I was loved and it didn't matter what other people thought of me... My cirmcumstances didn't change much, but in the years to come, G-d changed my heart.... I learned to forgive those who had hurt me and to love when I was tempted to hate. I learned that G-d has a purpose for my life and that it was, first and foremost, to know and love and worship my Creator - to give Him my heart and seek His...
   It took me about 3 years to really learn a lot of this, and my life since then hasn't always been easy. Quite the contrary. But it has been worth it! It is worth it! G-d is SO good and he sustains me and floods my heart with peace when I turn to Him in my brokeness. He gives me the strength to keep going when I don't think I can take another step. He is my joy, my everything and I love Him! 

All the pain and suffering has been woven together with the good times in the tapestry of my life. It's what makes me who I am. My experiences and my redemption. I wouldn't have it any other way. G-d still has a plan for me - and for YOU - and I am excited about what the future has in store. I no longer need the approval of man, for I have the apporval of the King of kings and LORD of lords, the Creator of the universe, Jesus Christ.... He calls me His Beautiful daughter. A child of the King. My life is in His hands and in that I am secure. 

The ugly duckling turned into the swan princess and has finally found her place - safe in the arms of Jesus. 

Random

I find it quite funny that I am known as the Hillbilly from Kansas or the skinny girl who needs to eat more by a certain Dutch couple. I like them. They are characters. It's good to know you make an impression on people and I'll take "Hillbilly" over other, less desirable names any day. lol

On another note, I very much dislike the smell of smoke. It makes my lungs feel as though they are closing up and getting smaller by the moment. My chest feels heavy as everything in me struggles for air. I'm melting, I'm melting! oy vey! 
Okay, okay enough with the drama... but seriously.

Green tea and strawberry smoothies are delicious. 

It's always good to be in the company of friends.

Matzo pizza is yummy.

I LOVE cuddling with my babies. Love it!  :-)

That about covers my day- bakwards, lol. 

Peace out. Shalom. Ciao.

I awoke this morning to the welcoming site of lush green trees-viewed from the window of course- and was super excited. 

If you don't know me, I love, LoVe, LOVE nature and have greatly missed it living in the city. I'm staying with a friend for the week and it was a breath of fresh air to see such a sight. :-)

You really don't know what you have until it is gone.  

My heart misses Kansas, the beauty and simplicity of it all. 

I miss the wide open spaces as far as the eye can see. 

I miss seeing the stars so close and bright you feel you could touch them. 

I miss the wildflowers filling the prairie with life and color. 

I miss the slower pace where a traffic-jam consists of being stuck behind a slow-moving tractor or two vehicles stopped in the middle of the road talking to eachother. 

I miss driving slow and soaking in all the beauty surrounding me.

I miss fields of sunshine- aka sunflowers.
I miss the golden fields of wheat before harvest; the sweet smell of alfafa.

I miss my mom's tulips in the springtime. I miss my family.
I miss Kansas skies and storms. When the storms roll in, the sky seems alive with activity and it leaves me breathless.

There is so much beauty to behold all around us, everyday, but we are all in such a hurry to get somewhere that we miss it. Living in MD, I've seen sunrises and sunsets (though disprupted by buildings and trees) that left me speechless. Lush green is everywhere with forests of trees that bid me to come explore their depths. Streams, rivers and waterfalls (harder to find but beautiful) sing songs of mystery. The wind whispers secrets if you will be still and listen. Trees and blossoming and flowers spring up all over the earth. Beauty is all around us just waiting to be discovered.

Why is everyone in such a hurry? You drive 15 miles over the speed limit and you still get passed by everyone. It's never enough. We want to go faster. We want things now. no waiting. It's so easy to get caught up in the madness and rush. It's stressful. 

In Kansas, I would tire of driving down the same road and seeing the same fields everyday, and the adventurer in me would desire to find a road-less-traveled to explore. I would find an interesting looking gravel road that I knew went in the general direction I wanted to go and see where it took me. (Our roads are grid-lined so it is pretty easy to find your way around as long as the road goes all the way though.) 

I loved to get off the high-way and be able to slow down without feeling like I would get ran over, roll down my windows and soak in the beauty around me as the wind played with my hair. 
Back then I thought my life was boring, but what I wouldn't give sometimes to get out of the hustle and bustle and enjoy the scenery again.

We all need to SLOW down and smell the roses. Don't let life pass you by because you're always in a hurry.